Alarm Clock Meet Kakashi
by The Forsakened One
Summary: The continuation of Alarm clock meet Tayuya. PLease read that one so that you know whats going on in this one.


**All right lades and gentleman…or cat, dog, bird….you know whoever actually reads this. Anyways I'm sorry I've been gone for so fucking long but I actually had a good reason. First, deployment took up a huge chunk of time. Second, I was in the hospital for a while and then medicated up to the eyeballs on painkillers. Reason being I had brain surgery to remove a golf ball size tumor from my head. Crazy right. **

**Well enough about me lets get on to the story that will mark my return to my stories. Sorry if its not up to par with past stories.**

**Alarm clock meet Kakashi  
(Sequel to Alarm clock meet Tayuya)**

**READ ALARM CLOCK MEET TAYUYA FIRST TO GET THIS ONE**

**DISCLAIMER: Nope don't own squat**

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"Well fuck…" That was about all Hatake Kakashi could say when a giant club smashed through his front door. He had figured she would be pissed but he didn't really think that his old student would allow his girlfriend to physically maim him.

"Oh Ka~ka~shi! Where are you?" Kakashi quickly ran into his bedroom and locked the door. Looking around there were only a few options readily available. Option 1: he could stay ad try to fight that…well whatever it was with the giant club. Option 2: He could scream like a little girl and make a break for the window effectively abandoning his precious Icha Icha collection to a horrible fate. Before he could make a decision a large hand burst through the door and latched onto his throat.

"W-wait a min -*gasp*- we can talk about this!"

"Oh no fuck face! You just had to leave your damn alarm clock in Naruto's fucking bedroom and for that I WILL MURDER YOU SHITSTAIN!" Kakashi paled at her proclamation.

"_She's really serious about this! All right think Kakashi, there has to be some way to get out of this mes-" _It was at about that time that he was roughly dragged through the door and thrown at what remained of his front door.

"C'mon Kakashi, lets PLAY!" Tayuya brought her flute up to her lips and started playing a haunting melody. The Doki that was standing behind her immediately went into a rage and charged the down copycat with its club raised. Kakashi's one visible eye widened and he took off through the open doorway breaking what little remained of the door.

"_Screw pride and screw icha icha, I'm getting the fuck out of here! All right now how did Jiraiya and I get away from Kushina when she caught us peeking at the bathhouses? All I remember was running for my life before running into Minato-sens…NARUTO!" _Kakashi uncovered his sharingan and summoned pakkun.

"Nani? Why are you running like there's a devil chasing you Kakashi?" The little pug said perched on the jounins shoulder.

"Remember how Kushina was when she was angry?" Pakkun shuddered.

"Naruto's is dating a chick that's even worse…" The small dog whimpered.

"Why the hell did you summon me for!? She'll just murder me in her quest to hurt you!"

"I don't need you to fight her pakkun! I need you to find Naruto and have him at the Hokage tower in twenty minutes!"

"Got it, although with all the people out it might take a little longer than twenty minutes." Kakashi grabbed the pug and held him up to his face.

"If you don't have him there in twenty minutes you and your buddies will have to find a new summoner!" He tossed the dog and dropped into an ally to catch his breath. Glancing around he let out a sigh of release that no one was around. Slumping against a dumpster he popped a soldier pill and prepared himself.

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"So how long should I give him before I have my Doki smash his face in?" Naruto just laughed at the question while peering through Tsunade's crystal ball.

"I'd give it about 15 minutes. You know let him think he has a hope of survival." Tayuya grinned at the blonde.

"I like the way you think Blondie. What about you hag?" Tsunade's eye twitched at the name. First Naruto and now his fiancé with that damn name. Giving a huff she responded.

"Is this all really necessary? Just burn his books or something and be done with it already. Kami, this is going to be a field day with the council." Naruto snorted.

"In case you've forgotten baa-chan he's the reason why I'm looking for a new place to live."

"Well actually if you think about it your fiancé over there is the one who set the place ablaze. So shouldn't you be mad at her too?" A drop of blood fell from his nose before Naruto quickly got rid of it.

"Nah she's already made up for it. Now Kakashi just needs to get what's coming to him and ill be good…although thanks for the idea about his books." Naruto kissed Tayuya on the cheek and disappeared in a gust of wind.

"Honestly how the hell did you ever hook up with the gaki?" Tsunade brought out two cups and filled them with saki. "I mean seriously with the way he used to be and the angry little spitfire you used to be, I thought you would have castrated him. Now here we are plotting the torture of one of the villages top jounin just after you two get engaged." She took a shot of the drink before refilling her cup. "Alright I have to know, who asked who out first?" Tayuya took a shot and motioned for a refill.

"I don't fucking know. One minute were at each others throat and Naruto looked like he wanted to strangle me. Next moment we're doing it on the kitchen table. Things just kind of fell into place after that." Tsunade spit out her drink at the last part.

"I didn't need to know about your sex life dammit! Especially when it involves pieces of furniture that other people besides you two use!"

"Well what's the big deal we cleaned it afterwards, I mean hell we did it on your chair too."

"That's not the…wait WHAT!?" Tsunade immediately got up and looked upon her favorite chair with a horrified expression.

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Two anbu guards, perched on the roof of the Hokage tower, glanced down to see their leader talking with a red head.

"I wonder what they're talking about in there? Tsunade-sama usually doesn't just drink with whoever walks in."

"I really don't want to know. Tayuya's almost as bad as Naruto when it comes to stubbornness and persistence. Hopefully we wont have to break anything up." The first anbu laughed at his comrade.

"No way in hell would I get involved in a fight between Senju Tsunade and the soon to be Uzumaki Tayuya. That's just like asking to die."

"I know what you mean. If anything we should just throw Naruto in between them. If he cant stop them I'm going missing nin." They saw Tsunade flash to her feet and stare at her chair.

"Ok now I'm a little worried." His buddy nodded.

"What the hell is goi-" Before he could finish the Hokage's chair was launched through the window and imbedded itself into the rock face of the 1st Hokage.

"Holy shit! Did you see how that!?"

"A chair…she launched a chair over three hundred meters with enough force to imbed it into rock…" The two anbu shivered.

"I think its break time don't you?" Both Anbu immediately vanished.

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"Whoa crazy old hag what the fuck was that!?" After the chair went flying Tayuya had retreated to the door in case anything heavy came her way.

"You," Tsunade pointed at Tayuya, "Contaminated my favorite chair that's what the fuck that was!"

"Oh come on it was just a quickie while we were waiting for you to get out of a meeting." Tsunade shoved her fingers into her ears.

"LALALALALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU!" Tayuya crossed her arms.

"Real mature hag. Fuck it let her stew, maybe she'll find out about the couch next. After all we only flipped the cushions after that experience." Tayuya dashed out of the room to find her previous victim.

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Kakashi took a quick peek over the roof of the building he was hiding by.

"Okay so far so good. Just need to get to the tower. Dammit pakkun where are you?" The copy nin pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I swear if I get out of this alive I will forever swear of porn." He bounded onto the roof and dashed to the next one. He was barely able to stop himself when he came face to face with his assailant.

"Hey Kakashi I was looking for you."

"Now listen Tayuya," He put his hands up in a placating manner before slowly backing away, "This doesn't have to go any farther. Whatever you want. Just say the word and its yours." He stopped moving when he realized he was at the end of the roof. _"Alright no quick jerky movements and I may live yet."_ He thought when he saw the girl thinking over his proposition.

"Fine, you have to do something for me with no arguing or whining got it?" She smirked when Kakashi quickly nodded his head.

"No whining or complaining got it, now what is it?" He felt the hair on the back of his neck stick straight up when her smirk widened.

"I want you to…." She paused there only to prolong the jounins despair. She was not disappointed.

"What? To what? DAMMIT WOMAN TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!" Kakashi was staring to hyperventilate.

"I want you to….SUFFER AS I HAVE SUFFERED!" All Kakashi was able to do when he heard music was shriek in agony.

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"Oh hey Tayuya, I thought you would still be scaring the shit out of Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said as he held another Icha Icha book over a small fire. Said girl dropped into Naruto's lap and relaxed.

"Nah, it was starting to get boring. He didn't even try to fight just kept running away the whole time." Naruto laughed at that and kissed the side of her head.

"Well what did you expect? Not everyone can handle you like I can." Tayuya grabbed a book and tossed it into the flames.

"I guess that's what makes you so damn desirable; you're not afraid to get down and dirty are you Blondie?" She shivered when she felt his breath tickle her ear.

"In more ways than one hime." Tayuya was starting to feel incredibly excited.

"So on her desk this time?"

"You read my mind."

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Kakashi groaned as he opened his eyes and saw nothing. Either she had blinded him or he was just in a pitch-black room. He felt his limbs constricted to the chair he was sitting on and just by trying to move found that said chair was bolted to the ground.

"Alright we've gotten out of worst situations that this. Just remember that cluster fuck in the land of Hot Springs when you went with Jiraiya-sama." He tried to reach for the small dagger hidden in his sleeve. He almost had it in his grasp when there was an audible pop and the blade fell to the floor in his moment of shock.

"The fuck is that?" A pedestal appeared from nowhere half hidden in the darkness. His eyes widened when a soft green glow came from the top of it. "She wouldn't..." two numbers appeared.

It slowly awoke from its slumber. It felt alive once more and started the countdown.

30 appeared on the screen. Kakashi groaned.

"I should have saw this coming…"

20. Kakashi swore furiously at the numbers.

15. He was struggling so hard the chair was beginning to move.

10. He ripped the chair from its bolts and fell sideways onto the floor.

5. He struggled to inch his way to the nefarious device.

was out of time and he knew it. He laid his head against the ground and closed his eye.

Its purpose was once again fulfilled.

Another groan was heard as a loud piercing shriek permeated the air.

"How long is this going to last…" He paled when a second clock appeared in front of his face. When he saw the countdown on this one he started crying.

"_Th-three days…THREE DAYS!? DAMN YOU TAYUYA!"_

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Naruto collapsed onto his fiancé and nuzzled her cheek.

"Damn Blondie…" It was all she could say. What they had just experienced took her breath away. She heard him chuckle and felt his lips on her forehead.

"Just wait until the honeymoon." She nearly had another orgasm at his statement alone.

While they masked in the afterglow they completely missed the person starting to stir on the couch.

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Tsunade felt her temples throb as her vision cleared from her alcohol-induced slumber. After what Gaki number 2 had told her earlier she had drowned herself in alcohol hoping to forget. She definitely did not want the image of her surrogate son doing THAT in her head. She slowly pulled herself into a sitting position.

"Shizune! Aspirin!" She heard something bump into her desk. Blearily she looked over and all thoughts of her hangover disappeared. There on her desk was Gaki number 1 still buried in Gaki number 2 and both were looking at her unmoving. Tsunade cracked her knuckles.

"ON MY DESK! COME HERE YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!" At her proclamation Naruto pulled Tayuya into his arms and performed a substitute with a couch cushion. They were rewarded with the sight of Tsunade's fist turning the desk into a pile of sawdust.

Tsunade was about to resume her rampage when she noticed the remnants of the cushion under her fist.

"Nani?" She took a closer look and saw the stains that covered it. Whipping around she leveled a death glare at them that put Orochimaru to shame. Tayuya latched onto Naruto a little tighter.

"I think now would be a good time to leave Blondie…" Naruto could only nod. Tsunade stalked towards them shaking the whole tower as she went.

"On. My. Couch…" Naruto barely had time to sunshin before Tsunade's fist impacted where they once sat.

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The duo appeared in the Forest of Death breathing heavily.

"Holy shit she was really trying to gut us!" Tayuya swore.

"I knew she would be pissed but I didn't think she would go THAT far…"

"NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Naruto shivered at the call.

"I think we should hide in her for a few days…you know until she calms down." Tayuya nodded before noticing the position they were still in. Grinning she leaned forward.

"Well I think I know of something we could do while we pass the time Na~Ru~To." Naruto looked at his fiancé and shook with barely controlled lust at the sight of her half naked and giving him a sultry grin.

"Did I ever say that I love you hime?" Tayuya didn't respond. The only response to his question was her quickly latching onto his lips before bringing them to the forest floor.


End file.
